Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Mountainrider, Jan 27, 2016.
...this for @firstvictory
Can't forget @jwfuchs1
This is one of the reasons I had Vettes for over 30 years. Have a XLR now that is on a vette frame and built for Cadilac at the Bowling Green plant. Always encourage her to wear a skirt ( preferably w/o panties) and open the door for her. If the Biatch wears pantaloons.......she can open her own door.
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.
Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite, Shoite!"
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.
"Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way".
He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.
He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?".
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"
Mick phoned, . . . You left your wheelchair at the pub."
My son is going back to school on Oct 9th, OBM has had about enough of this online classes stuff. I have missed the nooners!
13 full moons this year. Tonight, Harvest Moon, and Halloween the Blue Moon. So this is once in a blue moon...
This religious German man doesn't believe in sex before marriage and is looking for an innocent wife.
He takes a woman out on a date. During the date, he unzips his fly, takes out his dick and asks the woman if she knows what it is.
The woman says "yes, it's a Schwanz".
So he takes her home a doesn't date her any more.
He does this numerous times, and every time the woman say "it's a Schwanz".
Finally, one time he did it and the woman said "it's a pickle".
He dates her steadily and marries her.
On their wedding night, he takes off his clothes, grabs his dick and says "this is not a pickle, it's a Schwanz".
His new bride says " a Schwanz is 8 inches long and black, that's a pickle."
The moral of this story is......once they have seen the BBC.........they want the BBC..............
Separate names with a comma.