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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Found this on best of Craigslist and just had to share


Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the "Live to ride" "ride to live" statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the "I'm a bad ass motherf&cker" harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some chapter " like: North chapter of pig ****ing obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives".
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of **** down the road.
 

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If you ever actually ride a new HD, you may just find out they're a quality product. I'm all for having a little fun with the HD crowd it's just that I see too much of this from JAP bike owners and I don't appreciate them bashing our American made products.
 

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Ya gotta realize that there is alot of Jap bike bashing from the HD crowd as well. But I will agreeHD makes a good and reliable machine even if it is an antique when roles off the assembly line. Ain no Vic. Many long years ago I was riding my Honda 450 is Sandiego and a HD club member tried to reach over and hit my kill switch. I foundlater that was the new sport if you were on a HD and wearing colors.
 

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Remember guys this is (should be) all in fun.

I go on several poker runs a year and most of the bikes are HDs. I have noticed the diff between rides organized by a HD dealer & a ride organized, if you can call it that, by a bar. The bar to bar ride I went on had so many wrong things going on and was such a scary combination that I didn't even complete it. But all last year I only remember 1 problem & he rode it home (leaking fork seal).

I've been requesting my local Vic dealer organize some rides, even offered to help out where he needs. I'm making progress with them but no dates set yet, will keep you posted.
 

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If you're not riding an HD and are wearing a helmet in North Idaho, you are the enemy in the eyes of most HD riders. The Jap bike riders are friendly to everyone.
 

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Well, if your around 100 years you are going to be messed with. I liked it especially #20. I ride with allot of HD riders, most of them are great and we kid back and forth. But for some reason there are a couple that truley believe if it aint Harley it aint **** and for some reason they are always the loudest ones in the group.
 

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#8 Gotta love when they blip the throttle constantlyat lights while waiting for it to turn green.
 

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bored76 said:
#8 Gotta love when they blip the throttle constantlyat lights while waiting for it to turn green.
Other wise the bike will die...

Also you could add at the end of #8 , especially when going through an underpass !
 

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And how many on here right now are thinking to themselves: "Hmmmm, maybe I shouldn't do that/say that/wear that anymore"?
The title of the thread should be "wanna-be biker" checklist.
To Don's point, if you Define yourself by your Harley then yeah, you deserve to get ridiculed, but that post is REALLY funny all on its own......just because.......makes the Southpark episode a little more real....regardless of what you ride.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I personally never knew my goatee and mustache was a baseball thing... I think I'm gonna shave
 

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Best way to show a Harley rider that they have an inferior machine? Leave them in your rear view mirror!!

Pulled up to a couple of Harley dudes on the road (I do not knock Harleys, they are nice looking bikes and they are not the old AMF bikes any longer). However, whenever I meet the type of "POSER" who becomes a bad ass by buying and riding his "HOG", they will usually sneer at you and start revving up. That, my friends is a recipe for their humiliation!

OK dude, will that HOG keep up with the maligned Vic? Let's see. Light turns red. Where did the Harley dude go? Oh, there he is about 1/4 back of me.

Next light? The rider will turn off to avoid you or come up and ask, "What the hell do you have in that thing?" You reply, "Oh just a stock Vic with after market pipes. Their next reply is either "DAMN," or "ride easy man!!"

I have made more than one Harley dude bow in the presence of the new American motorcycle this way. Real Harley riders are usually OK with Vics, like with Big Dogs, Iron Horse, etc.
 

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bikeriderga said:
Best way to show a Harley rider that they have an inferior machine? Leave them in your rear view mirror!!

Pulled up to a couple of Harley dudes on the road (I do not knock Harleys, they are nice looking bikes and they are not the old AMF bikes any longer). However, whenever I meet the type of "POSER" who becomes a bad ass by buying and riding his "HOG", they will usually sneer at you and start revving up. That, my friends is a recipe for their humiliation!

OK dude, will that HOG keep up with the maligned Vic? Let's see. Light turns red. Where did the Harley dude go? Oh, there he is about 1/4 back of me.

Next light? The rider will turn off to avoid you or come up and ask, "What the hell do you have in that thing?" You reply, "Oh just a stock Vic with after market pipes. Their next reply is either "DAMN," or "ride easy man!!"

I have made more than one Harley dude bow in the presence of the new American motorcycle this way. Real Harley riders are usually OK with Vics, like with Big Dogs, Iron Horse, etc.
YEP, smoked the last one with a big 2 into 1 megaphone pipe riding 2 up!
 

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bikendad said:
If you ever actually ride a new HD, you may just find out they're a quality product. I'm all for having a little fun with the HD crowd it's just that I see too much of this from JAP bike owners and I don't appreciate them bashing our American made products.
Bam!! Bingo!!!
 

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I like the fun in it. But I ride with many different riders and bikes and to be honest they all bust up!
yes some more than others but Im not going there.
I am not sure about much of the inuendo also as I tend to sloch into my seat and lay back just a bit when riding weather on hyway or city I have a smaller helmet and always wear a wee cotten skull cap under , I wear leggings and have a leather jacket (a bit worst for wear ) Im not always the cleanest shaved fellow on the block and for sure I blip or pop or what ever the pipes on my pin when I bloodywell fell like it . Im 58 been riding since about 14 and will die that way so whats wrong with riding a HD its a bike right!!I just happen to like my pin better.
 

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Clubford00 said:
bored76 said:
#8 Gotta love when they blip the throttle constantlyat lights while waiting for it to turn green.
Other wise the bike will die...

Also you could add at the end of #8 , especially when going through an underpass !
Easy there big guy, I may not " blip " the throttle at a stop light, but I sure do love the sound of my shot-guns going through tunnels, hell I even down shift sometimes :)
 
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